Just off the M27 situated in Cadnam conveniently lays The White Hart, a Brunning & Price owned pub. During the current lockdown restrictions, The White Hart have utilised their large beer garden by erecting a marquee to offer outdoor seating for guests. Neil, Jake & George venture out their houses for the first time in almost 7 months to investigate.

Editors note: The COVID restrictions in place actually positively influenced the score as the outdoor seating was so lovely. Whilst the indoors is nice, maybe not as impressive.

1) How was the booze selection? 🥃

George says: “It’s got Peroni.”

Neil says: “Minimal, but that’s not always a bad thing. I get quite autistic with drinks choices. No local ales, though. You’d sort of expect that in the New Forest.”

Editors note: Neil raises a good point. The pub has “Cast Ales, Fresh Food, Wine” painted on their building – it seems odd not to offer a local ale.

Jake says: “What is tomato juice? Is it thick?”

Chef says: “If I was a child I’d get a soft drink.”

2) How good were the chips? 🍟

Jake says: “Pretty good”

Neil says: “Too hot.” Later he began dipping the chips into the pub made salsa, stating: “I like this shit.”

George says: “I’m not a fan. What is this, Aunt Bessies?”

Chef says: “1.5… 2.”

3) Cleanliness of the glasses 🍷

Jake says: “I thought it was dirty – it was the Coke. I made fajitas at 5 to be here by the way.”

4) How good are the toilets? 💩

Neil says: “Aged like a fine woman. Retro feel, weathered quite well.”

5) How were the staff?👩‍🍳

Chef says: “Great communication between staff. Overall pleasant.”

Jake says: “Very motherly. I wanted to be breastfed by them.”

Neil says: “Very attentive. Almost pushy…” Neil pauses with a wild look in his eyes “… Also, fit.”

6) How was the venue? 🏚

George says: “Really impressed. Only thing that didn’t impress me was that the pub is baby poo yellow.”

Jake says: “I felt the heat.” Jake is referring to the marquee heaters.

Neil says: “I like the slide.”

7) Overall score 🍻

Chef says: “An unexpected surprise. I would drink again”

George says: “The brownie was world class. Hate the colour of the pub, love everything else.”

Jake says: “I like it here. It’s nice. I like gazebos. Your head looks red from this angle. Tomato juice…” Neil interrupts, but Jake regains his thoughts. “… feels a bit weird. I wanted to know how pulpy it is, but I didn’t order it.”

Neil says: “I’m happy for you to put 4. Also, the waitress is a 10. I didn’t like that the slide was never free. Also, I’m allergic to nuts.”

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Today’s unique fact: Salt shakers should only have one hole.