The Elm Tree is a pub that seemingly tried to do it all. A thatched pub that offers food, live sports, a function room, a venue for events including weddings, quizzes & more. Some would say that to do so many things cannot come without the cost of quality, but The Elm Tree proudly boasts that to be a jack of all trades does not require compromise.
As usual, it comes down to three cunts to decide whether The Elm Tree truly can live up to this lofty expectation. Unfortunately Jake still couldn’t attend as his car has been officially written off due to the pothole at The Compass Inn. He has fully recovered from his head injury, though.
1) How was the booze selection? 🥃
George says: “No Peroni… But I love what else is here such as San Miguel, Thatchers Gold, etc.”
Chef says: “A different selection.”
Editors note: They have Appletiser… which is fun.
2) How good were the chips? 🍟
Neil says: “Not the best chips in the world… but very close.”
3) Cleanliness of the glasses 🍷
Chef says: “I don’t care.” Thanks, Chef. This is why we miss Jake.
4) How good are the toilets? 💩
Neil says: “Floors were nice. Walls were nice. There were two soaps! There were two sinks, and one over there; good for people distribution. The walk from the sink to the hand dryer was a bit long.”
5) How were the staff?👩🍳
George says: “Staff were hilarious.”
Chef says: “A 5…” George questions the decision, knowing Chef liked other pub staff potentially more “… I CAN HAVE MORE THAN ONE 5!”
6) How was the venue? 🏚
George say: “As good as a traditional pub looks.”
Neil says: “I don’t like the chalk board or the tarton carpet. I do like – which is quite common – the artwork of Ringwood.”
7) Overall score 🍻
George says: “A pleasant surprise from this traditional looking pub. A great selection of booze, a nice interior & friendly staff.”
Neil says: “For what it is it’s just great. Someone needs to check their grammar on ‘Chef’s specials’, though. A little gem.” Chef & Neil then argued about whether this is or isn’t a ‘local pub’. Prior to publishing I did research this, & it does look like it is independently owned.
Chef says: “I’m trying to think of a biscoff based pun.”
Today’s unique fact: According to Neil, all the children are interbred in Ringwood.
The C*nts Pub Guide 🍻 