Just outside of Lyndhurst village residing in the quaint forest of Emery Down is The New Forest Inn. It’s a beautiful pub from the outside, featuring green accents & a cutesy mural directly above its front door.
It shouldn’t be confused with The New Forest in Ashurst, which seems far less adorable. Chef got the two confused, & was even unsure where this pub was despite me clearly supplying a list of pubs we were set to visit on this sunny day (including a map of our route). Luckily I drove us all there, otherwise he’d probably have reviewed a pub in Wolverhampton or something.
This pub marks the first in our pub crawl series in which we failed to review all the pubs in Lyndhurst within 6 hours.
1) How was the booze selection? 🥃
George says: “No Peroni.”
Chef says: “Moretti and Amstel… Nothing else really took my fancy.”
Jake says: “I dunno. I only saw Moretti. I don’t think I can contribute.“
Editors note: I find it interesting how Jake always says he doesn’t want to comment but proceeds to provide the longest winded response.
2) How good were the chips? 🍟
Chef says: “Hot.”
Neil says, crying as he does so: “I’m happy with this. Thicc with 2 C’s.”
Jake says: “Looks peppery, or looks like maggots. One of the two.”
3) Cleanliness of the glasses 🍷
Neil says: “A 5. The glass was a 5. She was a 5. Not 5. She wasn’t 5.”
4) How good are the toilets? 💩
Neil says: “Basic. Would shit in an emergency. Poor tiling, & basicness made the score so low.”
5) How were the staff?👩🍳
Neil says: “Friendly.”
Jack says: “A bit quiet as you walked in. [Chef proceeds to interrupt to tell Jake how to score the staff despite it not being his turn] I wanted a bit more.”
Chef says: “He was nice!”
6) How was the venue? 🏚
Jake says: “I don’t like the hill [Referring to the steep hill in the beer garden]. Dig it out please.”
George says: “Traditional, but very elegant & pretty.”
Neil says: “I love it here. I love the hatch! [Neil is referring to the hatch in which you order drinks through in the beer garden]”
7) Overall score 🍻
Chef says: “A hidden gem. I love the garden and all the elements here.”
Neil says: “Trees provide comfort despite a steep hill gradient. The trees comfort me…”
Jake screeches as he fights off a wasp: “Fuck the gradient. Fuck the man. Viva la revolution!”
George says: “A surprisingly pleasant experience. I would definitely come here again, the venue was very cute.”
Today’s unique fact: 2 freight trains travelled through Codsall the last 3 days.
The C*nts Pub Guide 🍻 