At this point of our pub crawl everything began to look a bit wonky. Sure, we may be professional pub reviewers (professional in our reviewing abilities, not in terms of payment), but we are not the most seasoned drinkers.
It seems fitting that we were at our most befuddled whilst visiting the White Rabbit. After all, the pub is named after the character from Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, & we were certainly plummeting into absurdity just like Alice was as she fell into the white rabbit’s hole.
Because of this, the White Rabbit pub received much harsher criticism than most pubs we’ve attended. It’s fine… But our review might make it sound like it’s one of our least favourite pubs.
1) How was the booze selection? 🥃
George says: “They have Peroni.”
Chef says: “No Moretti. You dont have Moretti? Fuck off!”
Neil says: “They’ve got Fosters which show they’r poor.”
Editors note: Despite Neil’s comment, we are men of the people; working class heroes venturing into unknown pubs to review it for other common folk. His comment here was only in jest because this was the first Lyndhurst pub we went to which had Fosters.
2) How good were the chips? 🍟
Jake says: “There’s a carrot in the middle of these chips… They’re clearly oven chips.”
3) Cleanliness of the glasses 🍷
Neil says: “Poor cleanliness of the glass. I didn’t know what’s going on with my glass.”
4) How good are the toilets? 💩
George says: “Clean, smells fantastic, but it’s a small washroom.”
5) How were the staff?👩🍳
Neil says: “He was alright…”
Jack says: “… He didn’t talk to me.”
George says: “They were kind.”
6) How was the venue? 🏚
Jake says: “It’s very nice. If i was less fucked it’s be nice.”
George says: “This is like if a Hungry Horse was in Lyndhurst. In a good way.”
7) Overall score 🍻
Chef says: “It’s a bit shit.”
Jake says: “A nice site but shit chips.”
George foams from his mouth & is inaudible
Neil says: “Take it or leave it. It’s right next to a road. I’ll take it or leave it. It’d be nice if it wasn’t by a road.”
The C*nts Pub Guide 🍻 