Testwood Walk & Testwood Lakes may not be within the New Forest, but they are within the New Forest District Council area. With this in mind, it might not be a terrible idea to stay in Totton or Testwood during your next trip to the New Forest, potentially saving a good amount of money & also learning some new survival techniques as you dodge the local thugs.
But where do you go for a delicious pint whilst in this somewhat hostile territory?
One might argue The Salmon Leap is a good place to stop. I’m not sure who, but let’s explore this option in today’s review
1) How was the booze selection? 🥃
Chef says: “Cocktail on tap. If I was feeling like a fruity boy I’d have a cocktail & let my wife peg me. Of course, it’s not a Friday, so I shall not be pegged tonight.”
Jake says: “I’m off tomorrow as I have our year end meal. I’m done by 2pm. A good glass of coke.”
George says: “I did not check for Peroni, but I enjoyed my pint.”
2) How good were the chips? 🍟
Chef says: “When I asked for chips they offered skin on fries or chunky chips, I liked the choice. I’m not a huge fan of them. Good portion size. Good value.”
Jake says: “Good enough. I don’t think the option in itself deserves the point.”
3) Cleanliness of the glasses 🍷
Jake says: “If it’s a new glass it’s good, if it’s an old glass it’s good. It’s all good.”
4) How good are the toilets? 💩
Jake says: “Uninspiring & smells like piss, but what do you expect I guess.”
5) How were the staff?👩🍳
Jake says: “The manager or owner came over to us & asked which football game we wanted to watch as they were playing every game in different sections of the pub. It made me want to choke on his chode.”
6) How was the venue? 🏚
George says: “TVs are on, there’s lots of people here, it’s a good atmosphere & is overall clean. A bit tired but aside from that it’s a winner.”
7) Overall score 🍻
Chef says: “I’d definitely come back here. This is very likely to become our new regular.”
George says: “I didn’t expect this pub to be as nice as it is, but here we are. In particular, I thought it would be full of weirdos, but the regulars here are nice people. They also had people playing dominos which I thought was cute.”
Jake says: “I miss Neil so much why doesn’t he hang out with us anymore. It’s been 5 months.”
The C*nts Pub Guide 🍻 