The Compass Inn has a new captain. Yes, it’s true, new blood has now been added to this rusty pub’s veins, & they’re looking to shake things up a bit. For starters, the controversial “no children rule” has gone (previously suspected as a ploy to attract the wealthy members of “Pedophiles Anonymous”).

Additionally, they got rid of the weird scarecrow that stood behind the bar. Although I’ve since been informed this was the old landlord.

Anyway, following these changes it seemed like a bright idea to return to The Compass Inn & give them another review. After all, it’s probably not a coincidence that only months after our scathing review of the pub their management fled the scenes. Have the changes been enough?

1) How was the booze selection? 🥃

George says: “No Peroni. But, they had a good selection of other lagers, local ales & Thatchers on tap.”

Chef says: “£5.40 (for Moretti) is expensive.”

Jake says: “They had Diet Coke. I now drink Diet Coke because my girlfriend calls me fat. So does my dad, which hurts because he is morbidly obese.”

2) How good were the chips? 🍟

George says: “Due to the kitchen being closed the chip score stays the same.”

3) Cleanliness of the glasses 🍷

Neil says: “Fucking hell! This is the first M22 I’ve seen!”

4) How good are the toilets? 💩

Neil says: “There wasn’t shit on the walls… So it could be worse.”

5) How were the staff?👩‍🍳

Chef says: “Even when busy they served with a smile.”

Jake says: “He had an earring which complimented his eyes.”

6) How was the venue? 🏚

George says: “Luckily one of the most prominent changes to the venue is the removal of the ornaments & gift shop items. The pub overall keeps an authentic New Forest pub vibe which is nice. The dining area needs to be redone, though, as its dated appearance has reached the point where it looks permanently dirty.”

Jake says: “They filled in the pothole and my kids are allowed so that’s a huge improvement.”

7) Overall score 🍻

Neil says: “The improvements are noticeable. However, in the end of the day you can’t polish a turd.”

Jake “This is so shit… it’s average. [Neil interrupts to point out that “so shit” does not mean average] It’s the purgatory of pubs.”

George says: “I’m happy with the improvements, but in comparison to other local pubs it’s still lacklustre. I would have hoped that The Compass Inn would take the opportunity of changing management to make bigger changes… Such as replacing tired furniture or dusting the lights.”

Chef says: “It’s good with a band, but still expensive.”

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Today’s unique fact: In Copythorne they only paint 1/3 of the telegraph poles.